Rough Start

The first week of John's life was a really rough one. He had a 2 day weight and color check and it didn't go well at all. First off, the doctor had John's birth weight listed as 7 lbs 14 oz and when he was weighed at his appointment, he was only 6 lbs 6 oz; meaning he had lost about 20% of his weight and he was really dehydrated. When the doctor told me this, I burst into tears. I felt like I was killing my child. We had had some trouble getting breast feeding down, but I didn't realize it was this bad. I felt like the worst person on the face of the planet.

They sent us to the lab to get some blood tests done on John, and while we waited, I choked back tears of self-loathing. We waited and waited for the test results. And waited. And waited. After what seemed like eternity (honestly, it had been about 2 hours) I poked my head out of the exam room and asked how much longer it was going to take. The nurse told me that the lab had had a miscommunication and had lost John's lab results, so we had to get his blood drawn again and waited another hour for the results. By the end of the appointment, we had been at the pediatrician for 6 hours.

The doctor told us to supplement John with formula to try to get his weight up and sodium levels down. The hospital did give us a gift card to Applebee's to apologize for the inconvenience, but all I really cared about was getting John to a healthier weight. We were vigilant for the next 24 hours -- feeding John every 2 hours with breast milk and formula. And the next morning we went back to the pediatrician.

Robby asked what the hospital had as John's birth weight and told them to my surprise that they had it wrong. His real birthweight had been 7 lbs 4 oz, but somewhere along the line, someone had added a 1. So really John had only lost about 12% of his weight (still too much, but not so horrible) and that day, he weighted in at 6 lbs 11 oz and the doctor was much happier with his levels. I was breathing a sigh of relief, but I still felt like a child abuser. Robby had to console me so many times and remind me that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Sometime new moms have struggles with breast feeding. John's still not gaining weight at rapidly as we'd hope, but he is eating so much better  and he is chunking up. I think he just has his daddy's super-fast metabolism. I just hope he continues to gain weight and chunk up.

Other than that, he's such an angel. He loves to cuddle and we've even gotten him to the point where he'll sleep in his crib at night. I feed him every couple hours, but as soon as he's had his fill, he'll fall asleep and go down in his crib without a peep.

I just love this little guy so much. I feel so blessed to be his mom. I'm so glad he decided to come to us and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for the two amazing guys in my life: my wonderful husband and my darling baby boy.

Happy Birth Day! Part 2

After hours and hours of Pitocin and painful contractions, my OB came to check my progress again. I was at a 3! Seriously!?! And apparently, further up my birth canal I was even less dilated. I guess there was some sort of membrane that was making is hard for my body to dilate. So what does the doctor do? He breaks that membrane by stretching the crap out of it. I could barely breath for the pain. This was supposed to help me dilate more.

And while the monitors I was on showed me having contractions every minute or so, my OB was concerned they weren't hard enough to be making any change, so he decided to insert an internal contraction monitor and heart monitor for John. Having these inserted into my uterus while only being dilated to a 3 (about the size of a bottle cap) was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. It also really broke my water, I was gushing fluids and blood everywhere. The doctor had explained to me earlier that once your water breaks, you have a limited amount of time to deliver the baby or risk infection for both mom and baby. So they had said from the beginning that if I wasn't ready to push after so many hours, that they may have to do a c-section. And now that my water had really broken, the clock was really ticking.

The monitors they had inserted showed the my contractions were good and strong, but after more excruciating hours, I had only dilated to a 4. It was now 10 in the morning and I had been in labor for 18 hours. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before and I hadn't slept in 28 hours. I was at my breaking point. In fact, I remember one really hard contraction where I looked up at Robby and all of a sudden felt so small and weak and helpless. I just burst into tears. So now that I had reached the do or die point and I was only at a 4, my OB said our only option was a c-section. And although I really hadn't wanted it to come to this, after this ordeal, it was actually a relief to know that I didn't have to do anything more. Because even if I had dilated enough, I don't think I could've found the strength to push. But now, I was about to have some relief.

The OB nurses prepped me for surgery, the anesthetist gave me the epidural, and miraculously the pain stopped. Everything from the bottom of my rib cage and down went totally numb. It kind of made me feel claustrophobic to not be about to move my body at all, but I was so exhausted and relieved to not be in pain anymore that I think I may have fallen asleep on the surgery table.

Unfortunately, the epidural gave me the shakes -- I felt like I was in a freezer and I couldn't stop shivering violently  -- and I also got nauseous and started vomiting up green bile. I puked twice during the c-section. But all of a sudden, I heard crying. I was a mom. My baby boy was born. And now I was crying; this time for joy.

In recovery, I puked again but they gave me some medicine that stopped the nausea and the shakes and I started to feel much better. After about 20 minutes in recovery, Robby brought in my baby boy and I got to hold him. And despite all the pain, it was totally worth it and I would go through it all again in a heartbeat to have my baby boy. My John.

Happy Birth Day! Part 1

On Friday, April 13, 2012; I went to work as usual. I was at work training a new girl to take my place in the Urology clinic. The afternoon had be pretty busy, but really slowed down in the afternoon, so I took the new girl -- Megan -- down to the copy room to show her how to make copies of the charge sheets used in the clinic.

I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions off and on during the day, but I barely even noticed them. Anyways, as Megan and I were finishing up with the copies and about to head back to the clinic, I noticed a sudden release of fluid. It wasn't very much, but all the same it started my heart started racing. Did my water just break? Maybe it was the baby kicking my bladder and I just didn't notice, but I didn't think so. I just didn't know what to do. I called Robby and asked what he thought I should do and I called my Mom and asked her what amniotic fluid looked like. After talking with both of them, I decided to just call my OB ask her. She said to come in to Labor and Delivery (since the OB clinic was already closed) and they could do a simple test to see if my water had broken or not. This was at about 3:30 in the afternoon.

I called Robby again and told him that I was going to go in and get checked and asked him to meet me in front of Labor and Delivery with our hospital bags -- just in case. I told the nurses at Urology that I thought my water may have broken and the my OB wanted me to come in to get checked. They were so excited for me, but I was terrified. What if this was it and I was about to have a baby? What if it wasn't my water breaking and I was freaking out for nothing? I was sweating and my heart was racing. Those minutes waiting for Robby to meet me at Labor and Delivery were some of the longest minutes of my life.

When Robby finally got there, we talked with a labor nurse and she had me change into a gown, took my vitals, and finally tested to see if my membranes had ruptured. And low and behold; I had indeed been leaking amniotic fluid. The nurse explained to me that since my membranes had ruptured, it complicated things a little bit. Once your water breaks, the baby has to be born within 24 hours (one way or another) or else there was serious risk of infection for both of us. So, we were admitted to the hospital, I told mine and Robby's family and my work supervisor that it was baby time, and I prepared myself to have a baby.

Since I wasn't having any contractions yet, the first order of business was to walk the halls of Labor and Delivery and see if we could get some good contractions going to get my cervix dilated (I was only at a 2) so Robby and I started walking. I did get some good strong contractions going, but after 2 hours of that, they checked me again and I was still at a 2. (It was about 6 pm by now) Dang it!

So the OB decided to start me on Pitocin to get the contractions going more. In order to start me on Pitocin, they had to insert an IV. And if you know me, you know that I HATE HATE HATE needles! The first nurse tried twice to get the IV in. No go. She brought in another nurse to try, but to no avail. (I have the tiniest veins and they roll). Finally they brought in the charge nurse and after two more tries (total of 5 attempts), she finally got my IV in. Hate hate hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!

With the pit line in, the contractions came on insanely strong. I would focus on breathing or trying to distract myself, Robby would rub my back or legs or whatever else ached. After hours of this, they checked my cervix again, and had only dilated to a 3 and was still 50% effaced. Not good. My doctor thought that maybe my system was too flooded with the Pitocin so it was responding the way it should. So they disconnected the pit line and let me walk some more. They talked about something else they thought they could try to get my cervix to dilate more, but my OB thought it might overstimulate my uterus and create more problems than it would solve, so after some time they hooked the pit line up again and decided to really push the Pitocin.

It gets a little hazy right here, but I remember lots of pain. But however much pain I was at right then was nothing in comparison to what was about to come.

Introducing!!!

John Benjamin Williams

Our little son was born 4/14/12 at 11:34 am.

He weighed in at 7 lbs 4 oz and 19.5 inches long

And he's wonderful. I can't believe how much I love him.

Birth story to come...